The Hidden Trauma – Uncovering Resources for Abused Men


Men suffer domestic abuse as well. There’s an unfortunate stigma attached to the abuse of men, which can make the sufferer reluctant to come forward and “admit” his experience. It’s important to remove that stigma so the men out there in need of help are able to get it.

An abused man shouldn’t feel that he is “admitting” anything by coming forward and looking for help. When you are sick, you go to a doctor. If you are hungry you eat. And if you are being abused you make contact with the organisations that exist to protect and shelter you.

Unfortunately the stigma of male abuse runs so deep there are fewer organisations out there than there ought to be. I’ve collected a few links to help.

The Shelter Directory is a resource for homeless people in England. An abused man forced to leave his home has the same legal rights as any other homeless person, and may register himself as such with the council.

The Men’s Advice Line gives support and advice to male victims of abuse. Every call is confidential and the website contains links to prevent partners from knowing you are looking for information and support too.

Victim Support provides information, guidance and support for victims of crime. It’s important to understand that some forms of domestic abuse are not illegal. Mental abuse, for example, is an area difficult to legislate. It is unlikely that going to the police, or to an organisation like Victim Support, can help unless your abuse situation includes a definite crime. Physical abuse or being forced to do things against your will, for instance.

Ask Granny supplies useful information and links on a wide range of related topics for the older man.

Learning to spot the core signs of domestic violence is crucial for men experiencing problems in the home. It is only by understanding the nature of your problem that you can correctly identify it and treat it. If your partner routinely threatens or abuses you (physically or verbally); if he or she humiliates you regularly or in other wise makes fun of you; or if he or she threatens you with the prospect of not seeing your children anymore; it is possible that you are experiencing domestic abuse.

Learn to spot warning symptoms in your own behaviour too. If you feel you must change the way you would normally behave, or look, to ward off the possibility of angering your partner; or if you are routinely walking a fine line in the home, afraid lest you might set off another episode; then you should consider your situation seriously. And remember it isn’t weak to want help.

The more open you can be, with yourself and with friends and family, the better your chances of breaking the cycle of domestic abuse. Here are some tips to help you control your situation safely:

Tell a friend, family member or even your boss.

Make arrangements for storing your passport and crucial ID with a trusted friend.

Keep a record of any incidents.

Attend A and E in the event of any injuries – staff there will record what has happened to you and are trained to get you outside help if you need it.

Don’t despair. You are not alone. And the more you learn to address your situation, the less helpless you will feel.

juliet

Askgranny... All you need to know about dating, discounts, fitness, freebies, games, gifts, grandchildren, health, indoor and outdoor activities, internet safety, travel for the over 50s, over 60s, parents and grandparents. Why not Ask Granny Guru a question? Juliet Hambro on Google+